Don't Drink the Water

Those New Yorkers are crazy. Yes, September 11th is an emotional day of mourning for them, but I have to go beyond the grief and ask if there's more serious health issues causing the absolute insanity that runs rampant through their veins.

The New York Islanders used to be one of the greatest hockey franchises in the history of the sport. They dominated the NHL for the second half of the 70's and the first half of the 80's. And then they got crazy and fell off the map.

A few years back, they signed a fellow named Alexei Yashin. But rather than do the standard procedure of keeping him interested for 3 or 4 years, they decided to 'make a point' to their fans. Rrrrreallllly show them that the team was going to turn itself around. They signed him for 10 years. At about $7.5 million per year.

Un.
Buh.
Lievable.

This was a guy who crashed and burned in Ottawa and for some reason the Long Islanders thought he'd perk right up once he got down there. There's no other word for that than insane. I can liken it to signing Vanilla Ice to a 10 record deal based on the strength of his one hit song (that's a sample of another hit song).

So, now, rather than spend some money on a water treatment plant or pyschological help, they've decided to sign their current goalie, Rick DiPietro, for 15 YEARS!!! Are you kidding me? $4.75 million a year for 15 YEARS!!! Most careers don't last that long. The league average is somewhere around 11. And he's already 25. They're guaranteeing him a lot of money to play until he's 40 years old. Sweet, gentle Jesus. That's like offering Ben Mulroney a 15 season contract on Canadian Idol. Because surely no one will get tired of its innovative musical style or his creative and positive approach to entertainment journalism. The point here is think before you offer someone $67.5 million dollars.

I'd better add a new one to the list:

Places I Don't Want To Visit For Fear of Death, Disease or Craziness

Iraq
Iran
London
New Orleans
Afghanistan
New York