Ringtones Killed the Radio Star

You get to an age where you don't expect to be surprised anymore. I'm not saying I have the wisdom of Moses or anything so sage, but people don't amaze me the way they used to. At least not that often. But it happened today as I was on the subway, reading the most recent issue of Rolling Stone magazine.

It went a little something like this. Americans spent $500 MILLION on ringtones last year. Yes, $500 000 000.

Are you shitting me? People have difficulty shelling out $15 for a cd, but they'll eagerly pay $2.50 for a small piece of one song they can jam in their phone to annoy everyone on the bus they're riding? Come on, say it with me. Un. Buh. Lievable.

Apparently Young Joc's "It's Goin' Down" is currently the #1 ringtone. I've never heard of him. Not to say that I know everything about music, but I try and keep my finger on the pulse. It's my job to know my competition, after all. Anyway, this guy has sold 2 million copies of the ringtone. And from this, he has earned $500, 000. Yes. Five hundred THOUSAND dollars. And when you look at the breakdown, that's beyond disgusting.

If a ringtone costs $2.50, it goes like this:

7.5 cents to the publishing company (3 %)
7.5 cents to the songwriter (3%)
30 cents to the aggregator (12%)
20 cents to the artist (8%)
90 cents to the record label (36%)
95 cents to the carrier (38%)

So, if I were to make a ringtone of The Free Press songs, I would get the bolded numbers. And that's only because I'm smart enough to hang on to my publishing rights. If I'm not, the 'publishing company' is just a veil for more record label profit. Lets just say I sold 2 million copies (it's inevitable, right?) and got $500, 000. Well, that's only 14% of the profits. That means there's just over $3.57 million in profit. I'm not trying to be greedy, but I have a problem with this. I don't see why Bell mobility (you all know how I feel about Bell) should get $1.356 MILLION dollars just for owning a telephone company and playing my a small piece of one of my song. That's nuts. Nor should the aggregator (biz code for 'middle man') net $428, 000 for saying "Hey, your song should be a ringtone!"

If people are going to be strange and spend half a billion dollars on ringtones, why don't record companies smarten up? Merge the technology. Put a few ringtones and the software on the record in an effort to try and get people to buy allllll the music. Give them exclusive links & passwords to hidden parts of your website. Give them a reason to buy cds again. It bothers me that record companies whine and bitch about the internet and how it's killing the music biz. But rather than embrace the technology, they continue to search for ways to thwart it; copyright protection, aggresive viral software that installs itself if you play the cd on your computer (Sony got burned for that).

As much as it saddens me that music you might pour your heart and soul into has been relegated to such a status, I suppose it's inevitable. Now that I think on it, there was a nice set of Van Gogh 'Sunflowers' placemats I saw last time I was at the AGO.

The time has come to change the old addage, 'Necessity is the mother of invention.' Because in our day and age, 'Money is the mother of invention.' Gotta go now. Samuel L. Jackson is calling my cellphone again to talk about 'Snakes on a Plane'.