Being a Celebrity...

There's only two real reasons that I want to be famous. Not the cars and houses and money - of course that would be nice, but i'd be happy with a modest house and a VW Jetta. And it's nice to be loved by people you don't know and it's nice to get a table at any restaurant you want, but that's all fringe benefits as far as I'm concerned. Here's the real reasons I want to be famous.

I want to be on Celebrity Poker. I want Dave Foley & Phil Gordon to make fun of my bad raises and strange calls and I want to gamble (for FREE) in Vegas. That's something that an ordinary person just can't do.

And the second reason is fashion. Now, many of my friends and loved ones will tell you that I'm not fashion conscious. I wear stuff I like and stuff that is comfortable. And if you're famous, you can do that and become a trend setter. Hair, clothes, accessories - you name it, people begin to emulate you. And I'm not saying I want people to emulate me. I just want people to stop telling me how to dress. And if I'm famous, I have to believe that will happen. Either way, it's free press (ha ha). You get on the best dressed or worst dressed list in some entertaiment magazine or other. I suspect I'll make the worst dressed first, but you never know. These days (we just did a band photo shoot in the freezing cold - which was a lot of fun, actually - on Thursday) I'm reviving the Alex P. Keaton "Family Ties" look. I think Michael J. Fox was on to something and it's time to bring it back.

As I write this, the band is in the studio working and I'm watching Celebrity Poker. We had a great day in the studio yesterday and leaps and bounds were made towards finishing what has been a very difficult and very arduous recording process. I don't think anyone specifically is to blame. It's just what happens when you start a band at our age. Life gets in the way unless you shove it aside and make room for your dreams. And it finally feels like we're starting to do that. Together, as a group. And I have to believe that if the four of us make enough noise together, that people really will listen. Because, there's so much to say...

Nostalgia smells like dry ice...

It sounds like Guns 'N' Roses and there's lots of lasers.

Does anyone else remember those? Those crazy Much Music Video dances full of dry ice and and fog and lasers that spread over our heads? If you could reach high enough, your hand would swim in the beams and it was just the coolest fucking thing. I read the post of my friend and band-mate, Alex, yesterday. It's something we've discussed at length before; high school dances and - specifically - The slow dance.

I miss it.

There's no call to just randomly start slow dancing in the kitchen with someone unless you've stumbled onto the set of "Days of Our Lives". I miss slow dancing. I was such a coward in high school, that I rarely did it. But when I did...boy, when I did...

One of the best memories of my life was the first time I ever danced with the girl I had just fallen madly in love with at the time (Alison Cooke and I still have a table reserved for the woman in my heart even though I've not seen or spoken with her in 8 years). It was magical. You can't get that kind of nervousness and joy and anticipation from anything. Not from playing on the World Poker Tour, not skydiving, not winning the lottery. Well, maybe winning the lottery. But it would be close. One of the saddest memories of my life is the last time I danced with the same girl. But they go hand in hand. And I wouldn't want to give either of them up, because they're defining moments in my life. They make me smile and they make me sad. It reminds me how bittersweet life is. Love, particularly. I'll probably have to give a whole entry to Alison one of these days, because she was my first love and the person who gave me music and kissing and inspiration and U2 for the first time. All things I cling to dearly today and things I will always cling to. But that story's for another day. Right now, I'm talking about lasers and almost darkness and dry ice and sweaty hands and all the joyful screaming that happens inside your head when you're pressed unusually close to another human being and moving around a world that's just the two of you, a sea of similar movement and the music. The music. Maybe my band mates would shoot me, but I'll go on record right now. I would play a high school dance. Yes, I - a 30 year old man - would play a high school dance. Provided nothing sharp or heavy was thrown at me, I would do it. Just to give kids today a chance to get that feeling of hope and joy. I'm not saying I want to do a high school tour or anything, but I think it would be fun to see that wild joy in somebody's eyes again. It's a gift that was given to me and it's a gift I'd like to pass along to others. It's one of the reasons I write songs. It's my gift to anyone who wants to listen.

"Your lips betray you, ‘cause everybody knows the words
and everybody lifts the tune.
Starlight glows as you clutch and hold
The moment slips, the moment’s gone too soon.

We all come together
On these cruel summer nights
We all come together
with eyes shining bright
We all come together
to dream beneath the lights
We all come together
to make everything alright"

The word genius...

Is bandied about a great deal. In my opinion the word is over-used. It should be reserved for overwhelming instances that defy explanation. My best friend, Stephen, said to me a couple days ago, "What's your favourite food?" "Pizza," i replied without hesitation. "Do you remember," he said wistfully, "when you were a kid and pizza was a treat? Like, it was something that you only got every once in a while and that occasion was remarkable? That was a good time of my life." I have to agree with him. And I think the same feeling should apply to 'genius' as well. Now, there are many types of genius. There's your Napoleon's and your Einstein's; obvious choices. But, there's the more obscure variety as well. See, to me, a genius is a genius because they don't think or operate like other human beings, but they can provide useful tools, information or observations about the rest of us. And that's why I would include Douglas Adams in this category. I'm sure I'll offend some literary and math types. Well, they can screw off. Douglas Adams was a genius. He did not operate on the same level as the rest of us. He did not really belong in our world, so he stood at the edge of it and observed. And his observations are hysterical; fiction AND non-fiction. Read a book called, "Last Chance to See" if you ever get the chance. A biologist friend of his dragged him around the world to visit 4 or 5 of the worlds most endangered species and asked Douglas to notate the journey. Never has real life been so funny as when it's told through his eyes.

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have endedup where I intended to be."
- Douglas Adams


THIS man was a genius. If you've never read his stuff, do yourself a favour and go buy "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and laugh until you hurt.

I keep my promises...

And, as such, this first entry has to be a rant about my dislike for the word 'blog'. That will be the last time I use the word. I will refer to it now on as 'that word'. What is the etymology of the word? I suspect it's 'something' and 'log'. This makes sense to me. However, shouldn't it be 'electronic' and 'log'? And therefore 'elog'? Where the F#!k did 'that word' come from? I have an inexplicable hatred for it. I refuse to acknowledge it as acceptable language and will immediately dismiss any person who uses the word verbally. Other unacceptable words and phrases include: 'synergy', 'let me axe you a question' and any replacing of the letter 's' with the letter 'z' to make the language sound more 'phat'. Stay in school, kids. AND play music. The world needs rock and roll stars who can make the language beautiful again.