Harvard! How Do You Like Them Apples?

She lives in New York. That would denote a certain amount of savvy and culture. Hot.

She went to Harvard. That would indicate a level of intelligence that's probably higher than mine and possibly a mean Southie accent. Hot.

She was 'discovered' in a pizza parlor. That would seem to illustrate that she likes pizza. Very hot.

Is there any reason I shouldn't love this woman? She's everything I want and need in a lover; intelligent, beautiful, classy and pro-pizza. I'm adding her to the top of my Facebook interests. There. Done.

I recently saw the film 'Garden State' again. The movie is nice, but not remarkable. It tries a little too hard to say something meaningful. But Natalie Portman is in the film and is - in every frame - one of the loveliest creatures to draw breath on this earth.

I'm a young actor/writer/director and I'm given the green light to shoot this little movie I've written. Why in the christ WOULDN'T I cast Natalie Portman as my love interest? There is a scene in the film - I shit you not - where she wears a garbage bag. And she looks absolutely adorable. I don't know anyone who looks good in a garbage bag. I don't know anyone who looks good near a garbage bag. Except Natalie Portman.

I will always love you, Natalie. And if the time comes, I will hold you again. Like you were held on the moons of Naboo.