The Monster is LOOSE!!!

Alex and I recently went on a bizarre journey through northwestern USA. I say 'bizarre' partly because of my backwards Canadian perception of the US; miles vs km, easy to miss Interstate Highways and a baffling abudance of road signs - except those citing nearby Interstate highways. Here are some further examples. There was something called The Rolling Monument (a large, transport truck painted with the American flag and all the victims of 9/11 that tours the country spreading 'Freedom & Justice') that Alex discovered in the duty free shop while we were detained in customs. There was an unfortunate 'shortcut' through the Adirondack mountains (at 3am in a biblical storm and who knew there were so many hairpin turns - seriously, there were signs that said 'Hairpin Turn!' - up and down a mountainside?) And further to the road sign confusion, was this little gem you see. I saw three of them, all told. With no offense meant to blind persons, this sign confused me. Either the USA is very protective of its people who have lost their sight or it's another example of how you can sue anybody for anything in the land of the free and the home of the brave. There was no hospital, blind institute, or blind person within a mile of this sign. It was just off a busy intersection in downtown Lowel, MA. Bizarre, I tell you.

But the most bizarre part of the journey was Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell III. It was a last minute decision when I mentioned to Alex that it had just come out and we picked it up on our way out of town. There are several words to describe a first listen; baffling, shocking, awed, curious, scared. Those may conjur no images now, but I assure you after a premiere listening of the opening track (The Monster is Loose), you will have nightmares for years to come. It's the sort of thing that might happen if half of Metallica got drunk with Axl Rose and decided it would be fucking great to get together in the studio with Barbra Streisand and 'just see what happened.' In classic Meatloaf fashion, the opening track is 7:15 with 4 false endings and 3 'movements'. There was almost a 4th and 5th movement in the car when the opening 30 seconds blared through the stereo as we passed Hamilton. Alex & I were screaming 'WHAT?' 'SERIOUSLY?' 'CAN HE DO THAT?" And so on. I highly recommend it if you're looking for what is perhaps the greatest musical shock of the last decade. The only thing I see topping it in the near future is David Hasslehoff's long awaited rap album. I wonder if he uses some K.I.T. samples?