Kung Fu Fighting...

Who doesn't love a good Chuck Norris joke? This is perhaps the funniest one I have ever read. Read the whole thing. It gets better and better and better.

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

And it's getting crazier.

I should preface by saying I have a bad cold. So, maybe my perception is skewed. Maybe this is how the world looked to Coleridge as he peered through his haze of opiates. Or maybe I'm seeing more clearly than ever.

I turned on the TV tonight and was flipping through the channels - just looking for something interesting. I came upon Sportsnet and was baffled to see them televising a radio broadcast.

Now.

I'm not a television executive. I didn't go to school at some kind of technical institute to learn about the workings of television - on or off camera. I just watch a reasonable amount of TV and I think I know a thing or two about its workings.

It seems to me that television was invented because people wanted to see what was happening. Not just hear. And so they combined sight and sound and - voila! Television. But this was a radio broadcast ON the television. I was baffled to see the camera cut back and forth between three guys - with headphones, large boomed mics and sunglasses - discussing the latest Leafs drama. They never once acknowledged the camera and they were incredibly boring. And so I ask you, why televise a radio show? And my second question is what's next? Should I make audio recordings of me typing emails to people and play them on the radio? Should I be performing live stage plays of me writing newspaper articles? I'm all for multi-media, but only when it makes things more interesting.

I continued flipping and - as always - went past scenes of disaster, starvation and petty squabbling within our own government. And it sickens me. Why do we chose foolish people to govern us? I know why, but I just wish we could change it. Because it's just like high school. The popular/rich kids end up as president of the school, the prom king/queen and valedictorian. You shouldn't have to be popular to govern 30 million people. You should be smart, compassionate and tough. You will have to make hard decisions. You will have to endure harsh criticisms. You will have to help people than no one else will help. And that's where I get angry. Because I re-read Len's diatribe about the staggering amount of death and starvation in the world - particularly Africa. And I pieced it together with something else I read recently. Remember the terrible time our government had balancing its budget? All the humming and hawing about how hard it was? And how they couldn't possibly find more money to meet the promised amount to aid 3rd world countries?

I remember it. I remember it very well.

And after all that, our government (the people looking after our welfare) - after conducting a thorough inquiry (which probably cost half a million dollars) - decided to spend 3/4 of a million dollars - that's $750,000 - to educate the men and women incarcerated in our prisons on - wait for it - tatoo hygeine.

Imagine. Our government - the voice that is supposed to speak on our behalf - has essentially said that the vanity of those we have deemed unfit for society is more important than the hundreds or thousands of lives being lost everyday halfway across the world. Just when I think the world is getting better, I read something like this...and all my fears come rushing back.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Do You Hear the People Sing?

My girlfriend and I went to see Les Miserables a few weeks ago. She had never seen the show and I was excited to take her because it was the first 'big' show that I ever saw. That was when I was in grade 10 and at the ripe old age of 15. The musical had a profound effect on me. I had no idea that theatre could be so moving and powerful. The themes of revolution and revenge and redemption are woven through the piece and the music is stunning. I think I have three different cast recordings of it because I was so awed by it. In fact, I believe it set me on the path I'm still walking now.

Anyway, 16 years later, my perception has changed a bit. But not too much. The music is still breathtaking and the show itself is a technical marvel. The story - although it's somewhat heavy handed and harps on God a bit too much - is still amazing. Nostalgia is a powerful force. It can take moments of your past that were less than perfect and make you remember them fondly as the greatest moments of your life. But I was really happy that it wasn't the case with Les Miserable. Everything the play speaks of is still relevant. Perhaps now more than ever. With an election coming, with the constant governmental desire for war and with biblical storms ravaging the world - there has never been a better time to stand by the people you love and fight for what you believe in. A few voices can change the outcome of the entire world. Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare. These people changed the world because they spoke with their hearts; honestly, openly and without fear. Why shouldn't we do the same?

Five Fingers

Here we go
Pop your skull -- off the air, lose control
Get up and go
Five fingers, one of them lets you know

I can't take credit for that. It's one of the verses from the new Matthew Good song called, "Oh, Be Joyful." It's a new track he added to his best of called In a Coma. Generally I hate the presumption of people adding a new track to their best of collections. Isn't it a touch arrogant? However, in this case I'll happily allow it. It's a great new tune. And Matt Good is one of those guys who slipped through the cracks of my record collection. As I listened to track after track on the best of, I remembered that this cat can write some pretty kick ass tunes.

But to the lyric. "Five fingers, one of them lets you know." I love the simplicity and poetry in that. Sometimes less is more, right? We've been talking a great deal about that in the band. The very talented (experienced, kind, thoughtful and insightful) producer we've just started working with was trying to explain to us that we make our music too 'interesting'. It's what happens when you get four musicians that all have egos and want to be heard into the same room. The song gets cluttered and instead of listening to one melody at a time, you're listening to four simultaneously. It was an interesting point that none of us had been able to put our finger on. No one did it consciously. But we all did it. Instead of telling one story together, we're telling four stories simultaneously. That's got to be confusing and difficult for an audience.

And so, we've been working very hard on stripping our old songs down and putting them back together as a band. Not as four guys who all have cool ideas on what riff we should play here and there. We're all learning to step back and say, 'Listen to Len now,' or, 'I shouldn't play a thing, so everyone can hear Mick's part.' It's challenging. To pick and choose the focal point of every second of every song. Actually, it's fucking hard. Some of these songs were written long ago by just one of the four people that are now trying to pull it apart and make it better. It's amazing how hard it is to let go of the past. I have a long history of not being good at letting things go. I remember all the people who have hurt me and I remember all of the people who have taken a proverbial bullet for me. Maybe that shouldn't be applicable to my art, but it is. It's just a character trait that's built into me. And so it's hard to let go of some of these songs as they stood. But gratifying at the same time. Perhaps it's how a parent feels. You work so, so, so hard to put them (kids or songs) together the way you think you're supposed to, but at some point you have to let them loose and allow the rest of the world to continue to shape what you so carefully arranged. And all you can do is hope it works out.

That's where I'm at now. And it's why I've been up and down in the past few months. Imagine all the work you've done up to this point in your life - years of planning and building and painting and shaping - being reduced to a pile of rubble. All because one man comes in and says, "Yeahhhh, it's alright. Actually, it's good...but don't you think you can do it better?" And as much as you want to give that guy the one finger that lets him know, you know in your heart that he's right. But it's hard to let go and it's harder to start over. But the boys and I have decided to try and go the distance and so you do what you have to do. We're rolling up the sleeves, digging in and coming out of this year with a shitload of great new songs and kick-ass old tunes.

No more doubt. No more looking back. No more regrets.

Here we go.