Harvard! How Do You Like Them Apples?

She lives in New York. That would denote a certain amount of savvy and culture. Hot.

She went to Harvard. That would indicate a level of intelligence that's probably higher than mine and possibly a mean Southie accent. Hot.

She was 'discovered' in a pizza parlor. That would seem to illustrate that she likes pizza. Very hot.

Is there any reason I shouldn't love this woman? She's everything I want and need in a lover; intelligent, beautiful, classy and pro-pizza. I'm adding her to the top of my Facebook interests. There. Done.

I recently saw the film 'Garden State' again. The movie is nice, but not remarkable. It tries a little too hard to say something meaningful. But Natalie Portman is in the film and is - in every frame - one of the loveliest creatures to draw breath on this earth.

I'm a young actor/writer/director and I'm given the green light to shoot this little movie I've written. Why in the christ WOULDN'T I cast Natalie Portman as my love interest? There is a scene in the film - I shit you not - where she wears a garbage bag. And she looks absolutely adorable. I don't know anyone who looks good in a garbage bag. I don't know anyone who looks good near a garbage bag. Except Natalie Portman.

I will always love you, Natalie. And if the time comes, I will hold you again. Like you were held on the moons of Naboo.

The Better Way...

Is one of the great misnomers of all time. Right up there with "New Jersey: The Garden State" and "Death Penalty" (perhaps because of my hockey upbringing, that one's always confused me - it seems like a rather serious infraction.)

On at least 4 of my last 12 TTC trips, 'the better way' has cost me more than an hour of time. The schedules they post seem only to be the wild and whimsical imaginings from a team of popular fiction writers between novels. Or maybe just some monkeys working off their keep in a local animal shelter or preservation area.

The streetcar and the bus are the greatest offenders. Which makes me wonder immediately why we're not investing now to build more subways. Aren't we concerned about the enviornment? Don't we want to cut down on carbon emissions and car travel? As I waited for the Roncesvales streetcar for 30 minutes yesterday (with no excuse or explanation - although I later learned because of construction in THREE different places in a 10 block radius, a streetcar had 'malfunctioned' and backed up 4 other streetcars), I saw no less than 20 people (individually!) get into a cab and drive away. Responsive, responsible, punctual service like this is why we continue to pay more and more money for 'the rocket.'

I know money is a big issue. It has to be. Why else would the cost of riding have increased more than 58% in the last decade (the single fare cost was $1.60 in 1997 and is now $2.75.) I've been in Toronto for 10 years and the cost of living has NOT increased by 58%. So why has 'the better way'? One one of these occasions where the TTC was wildly late, the driver of the subway announced over the PA, "Please do not hold open the doors. There's a thousand other people on here who have somewhere to be." And that got me thinking. Lets say I make $10/hour. Let's say everybody on the train makes the same as me. That's $10, 000 that 'the better way' cost their own riders in an hour. I can't imagine how many more times that happens every day when I'm not involved. It's mind boggling. It's ridiculous. It's aggravating. And it's unacceptable. Public transit should be widely available, relatively punctual and affordable. Right now they're batting 1/3. If you're asking for $100, 000/month from those same 1000 patrons (a metropass @ roughly $100 x 1000 people) to ride 'the better way' and taking $10, 000 more from their pockets every third trip, you'd better improve your batting average or 'the better way' will be the extinction of public transit.